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Doomed

BUFFY SUMMERS:
Pooh pooh, Southern California, pooh pooh! - Nicole

Yes, but you're an amateur... fry cook, and I come from a long line of fry cooks that don't live past 25. - Jess L.

Big crazy cereal boxes of death. - Cassie

I would have thought a professional demon hunter like yourself would have figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? Ask around. Look it up. Slayer comma The. - Lady Lioness

No, it's not. - Nicole

Capricorn, on the cusp of Aquarius. You? - Julia

So, you deliver these HSTs to a bunch of lab coats who perform experiments on them, which, among other things, turns them into harmless little bunnies. How am I doing so far? - Janine

RUPERT GILES:
My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse. - Alexandra

Oh, as usual, dear! - Julia

WILLOW ROSENBERG:
So I'm thinking, the whatever took a bunch of the guy's blood with him. And I haven't been a nerd for a very long time! Hello! Dating a guitarist! Or I was. - Julia

XANDER HARRIS:
Charred Mayor flesh, anyone? - Anya Harris

No, you look like a mooch who doesn't lift a finger around here, but I have to get to work. - Jewels Harris

What? He wants to die, I want to help. - Kasey

That's it! I am way past through with you. I hate to break it to you, oh Impotent One, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the Kinda Naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space - my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, and as much as I know I could give you little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something... You're not even worth it. I'm outta here. - Janna

Mayor meat. Extra crispy. - Nicole

And you doing a little laundry for once wouldn't kill you. Unfortunately. - Julia

RILEY FINN:
I can feel my skin humming. My hands. My every inch of me. - Alexandra

Yeah, but I am a walking bruise today. You see me without my clothes I look like a ... I mean I have bruises. - Gypsy

You're really strong, like Spider Man strong. - Rachel

It's the end of the world. - Nicole

I am a nice, normal guy. - Julia

Welcome to the story of the world. Things fall apart, Buffy. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. If you weren't so self-centered, you'd see that. - Kristy-Ann

SPIKE:
I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! - Steph the Bloody

What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? - Gypsy

I can hit a demon. - Anya Harris

Me? Uh, no sir, I'm just a ol' pal of Xander's here. - Cassie

For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Come on! - Drew

Vampires. Rrr! Nasty! - Serenity

Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated. - Kasey

Buffy fights the forces of darkness. You're just her groupies. - Janna

You're just the same nerdy tenth graders you've always been, and she's too much of a softie to let you go. - Nicole

Goodbye, Dru. See you in Hell. - Julia

GRAHAM:
We have an Alpha Code Blue Situation. - Alexandra

FORREST:
She's cool. She's hot. She's tepid. She's all-temperature Buffy. - Jess L.

You don't got game, son. - XandersGirl

Slayer? Thrash band. Anvil-heavy guitar rock with delusions of Black Sabbath. - Julia

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